Give In

For the past two days I have been craving something. Something bad. Yet something good. Thinking about it, obsessing and picturing it, smelling it, dreaming of it – the works. I freaking wanted it.

All I did was tell myself the reasons why I shouldn’t give in. Why I shouldn’t succumb to this really awful thing (this is me telling myself  it’s really awful), whatever. And then I stopped. I thought about the implications, said f*ck it, and gave in.

I took myself to the bar (alone) and ordered a nice, fattening, extra crispy bacon covered, messy, bubbly cheese falling everywhere, greasy, mustardly juicy –  burger. And 2 huge beers. And fries. With ranch. Obvi.

Yes. I did the unthinkable – I ordered a huge burger (insert gasps from the crowd). And I f*cking loved it.

Did you hear me? I gave in to this suuuuuuuuper awful thing (not really), and I liked it. WOW. What a concept.

Now I know what you’re thinking – I made the biggest deal out of telling myself how bad and awful this was for me, which seems silly, because it was only just a burger.

But it’s not really about the burger is it?

We all must do this ALL the time. We probably don’t even realize it. We hold back, we over-think, we don’t give in, we don’t indulge. Why? Because we’re scared. (You got it, I was scared this one little burger would make me fat. Of course all the beer I drink and pizza I eat on other days wont. Nope. Just this burger. Totally rational.)

Once I gave in, and slightly made love to this juicy burger (oh yes, things got weird), I couldn’t remember any of the reasons why I shouldn’t enjoy this wonderful thing – and instead all of the reasons why I should.

I felt a calling to this burger (I’m serious. The burger really wanted me to eat it) and I answered said calling. I hopped on my bike, rode down the street, indulged a little, and went to bed a happy lil camper. Was my belly fuller than normal? Yes. Was this considered bad food that we shouldn’t put into our bodies? Yes. Was it the end of the world that I ate it and enjoyed it and was SO satisfied after? No. Absolutely. Not.

That’s the key. I was satisfied.

Holding back isn’t always good. Unless we’re talking heroin or something here – then yes, please hold back. But everything else – if it won’t kill you – go on and get it.

And this holds true to anything. Get yourself some satisfaction.

Don’t ignore the desire or the craving, indulge in it.

I love you, i’m sorry, i miss you, forgive me, i’m happy, i’m sad, i’m something, get me out, help me. All of it. Be it. Embrace it.

Say what you think, speak what you mean.

And just eat the damn burger.

Advertisements

One thought on “Give In

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s